This year, I will be celebrating my half century on the planet, and I, like yourself have suffered my own fair share of tragedy and suffering during this time. So I have learned to not grasp, to try not to force it to land, but to do all that I can to tend the garden so the butterfly of joy feels welcome. I do this in as many ways as I can,for instance by sitting still each day and focusing on my breath, so I can use my undistracted mind to move towards that which matters. I also do that which matters, as often as I can. Perhaps through holding my wife's hand, eating wholesome, tasty, beautiful foods, losing myself in great literature and listening to music that sparks those feelings, such as the latest record by some Aussie fella who now lives in the UK.
I am grateful to be vintage bags melbourne older, calmer, happier, and more in love with the world than I thought possible during my aching, seeking, thrashing youth. I am equally grateful for those thrashing years as they brought me to myself here and now. I can feel your question, tickling under my own skin, as the topic of absent joy is something I can relate to. Just a few months ago, I discovered a school of Buddhism and attended an online course. I don't think that I will study through all that knowledge or become a professional Buddhist, but what I took and kept from this lectures, is the concept that I can quit drama and that I do not have to think thoughts.
In the moment.And, I understand that this may sound flippant, but it is, my dear friend, absolutely not. It is, as you say, a decision, a conscious (or maybe if you have given yourself over to the possibility of every moment being joyous, a sun-conscious) choice to find joy in the little things. The mundane.The mundane only is so if we view it that way.It is not necessary to seek joy, but only to observe it in what is already all around, in every moment, every day. Nick the questions of where, how, when, what and why to find joy is something I’ve pondered a lot over the years. It is true, it is a choice as you say. Why do you think that joy is so much more visceral in amongst pain and loss?
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It is not sustainable when given in large or singular ways; but when found in small, often overlooked things, it can never truly go away. I find joy in bird songs and pleasant smells; in a cup of tea and a silent sunset; in the feeling of grass beneath my hands and laughter in the air. I’ve found that the happiest people are those who have practiced their ability to find joy in the little things into an art.
This spectacular wilderness resonates calm and speaks to something deep inside me. I find joy in holding my wife's hand while praying together with gratitude to God for our Love and for the wonderful gift of Life, here and now. This year my job has taken over my life and for a while I railed against the perceived tyranny but then, one day, I decided to accept the situation and suddenly I felt inspired and motivated. Nowadays it doesn't matter how stressful work gets, I find myself relishing the challenge. No matter how frustrated and exhausted I get there's always an under-current of joy.
I have had a long, difficult road to follow for the last year as my marriage of 34 years ended, and I didn't want it to. As such losses do, it gave me the brutal, wonderful, and inescapable task of confronting fears, looking hard at what matters, learning to see sky through pain, and accept love, support, and wisdom from where it is offered. And to be astounded at how kind people are.
By braving discomfort in the name of new experience. It's my joy, my therapy, my hobby, my addiction. I simultaneously find my joy in completing self-imposed tasks to bring order to chaos as well as giving up on those tasks because they are banal and pointless since they are self-imposed. For me, the importance is not where or how I find joy, but rather if joy appears at all. Joy has never come easy to me, and it's possible it will always be that way. I find greatest joy when I am consciously grateful for what is.
At times that troubles me, for what good is a writer when no one reads her words? But as I sit here starting a new story, feeling the magic of the beginning, the possibility, I know, this is how I want to spend the fleeting time I have on this planet. My fifth book “Lorettas letzter Trip” (Lorettas last trip) will be published in a few days. I know it won’t become a bestseller, but nevertheless I persevere. At least I have the joy of the work.
All of us, also the most innocent and inexperienced, experience joy. Simple joy, as I do not believe there is some kind of advanced joy.I mostly do find joy unexpected. Joy seems to be a force, a spirit, capable to arise anywhere and anytime, in the smallest situations and interactions.
From there, we find joy.When my father was dying, with whom I had a difficult relationship, I went to see him what turned out to be one last time in hospital. By this point, he was unable to speak, but he knew I was there. I couldn’t work out if he was pleased I had visited, or not. An hour or so after I left, my mother called me to say he had gone. I cried, there was no stopping me crying, no take a deep breath, my tears were a force of nature; unstoppable.So, joy, for me, is digging for the truth.
You see, this seems like a scientific method for finding joy, and perhaps irrelevant to the question, because of course joy can’t be equated to a soccer cleat, or the missing setlist. When you say simple joys escape you, perhaps these are just not things that you have envisioned as a source? And if you delve into the “simplicity” maybe it’s not that simple at all. Perhaps that which we seek for joy becomes too complex to possibly exist. A pure relief from sorrow, and grief. Maybe we can start to envision joy in the obtainable.
Shared purpose in a task done with others. Joy is having the time to notice, to notice the kookaburra quietly sitting high in the tree, then upon spotting the worm in the grass, skilfully diving for it. It's having the time and clarity to allow myself to respond to what's around me. It's being part of bigger picture, but being content to be alone.Joy is the freedom to allow myself to be amazed, delighted and fulfilled, unencumbered by a need to change things.
Sometimes I ponder those surveys that question ‘happiness’ and am bemused and sometimes lost about our search for happiness. It sometimes seems an elusive concept. Maybe cause I’m an older white male from some dubious Irish/Scottish heritage where we were never ‘happy’ just not angry, cranky cautious or suspicious! However, joy can be found in the simple things of life. A river stream where birds skitter, breezes flutter and I am able to shutdown from the complex and harsh world around us. A child we love may learn a new skill, teach us some simple truths about our world.
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